I was very intrigued by the article discussing how caregiving responsibilities are divided based on income and work hours. It makes a lot of sense to me that those who work more would be more willing to provide financial assistance, regardless of whether or not they can provide the unpaid assistance.
In my own experience, I have seen my mother-in-law (Lindy) take care of her mother-in-law (Pat) when Pat had a stroke. I remember being surprised that Lindy was doing most of the caretaking rather than Pat's own children, of which she does have daughters. There are various complications within the family that make things a little more muddled than I can explain here, but Lindy's caregiving shows both the role of women as kinkeepers in families as well as the heavier burden that weighs upon women when dealing with care of older adults.
On my mother's side of the family, my grandparents have struggled off and on with health concerns, both mental and physical. My mother is one of 5 living siblings (my uncle passed away a number of years ago) who have somewhat arranged rotating care for my grandparents. The 3 female children (my mother and 2 aunts) have dealt more with the living arrangements and things, while one of my uncles has taken over some of the financial arrangements for my grandparents. Some of the issues they encounter are geographic in nature. Only 2 of the 5 children live in the same state as my grandparents, making caregiving arrangements rather difficult at times. As a result, my grandparents moved to an assisted living facility only a few minutes away from one of my aunts. This is great for my grandparents, but I can see this being difficult for my aunt and her family because she has children in elementary through high school ages. It is definitely an issue that comes up frequently and has cause all of the siblings to communicate with each other more frequently.
My grandparents are getting to the stage where they are needing some outside care. The only issue is that they are so stubborn that they refuse help. How long can you wait before you have to step in against their will. They thrive on their independence but that just isn't feasible anymore.
ReplyDeleteBefore this class, it wasn't really something that I thought about because my grandparents are pretty young (between 60-66). I even have a a great-grandparent who is 80 and she is in tip-top shape. But now that it has really been brought to my attention, I realize that this is something that I should talk to my parents about. I know that personally, I would not want my children to take care of me, because I want them to live their lives and be able to take care of their children. When I was a baby, my grandmother's mother had cancer and was staying it in our house (my mother and i were staying with my grandmother at the time). And from I heard, it was very difficult because she was dying and was unable to take care of herself. I imagine that this would be a horrible thing to experience and I would not be able to go through this.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my Great Uncle Bob fell and broke his hip. He did not have children of his own so my mom took care of him and made sure he was in a good nursing home. He was not able to live with us due to the fact one grandma was in the hospital and the other was dying. Being able to watch how my parents took the time and took care of both. even though they did not take care of them in there home they took care of them mentally by visiting everyday and making sure that all needs were met everyday.
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