Revisiting in-laws

So, I've been stuck on the in-laws thing for a while now. I guess I just can't quite understand how people have such a hard time dealing with their in-laws. I personally have an amazing relationship with my parents-in-law. From the beginning, we were just ourselves around each other. I suppose that I had to be, considering the first time we met. After a Halloween party the night before, my then-boyfriend's friend dropped us off at his parents house to get laundry, etc. Of course, I was in my day-old makeup and some hideous costume remnants. I'm pretty sure I looked a little bit like a hooker. From then on, my relationship with my future in-laws was based on a bit of humility, humor and honesty. We're pretty straightforward with each other, and I talk to my mother-in-law at least once a week just to say hi and keep each other up to date with things. This kind of effort goes a long way toward maintaining a good relationship, especially when kids/grandkids eventually enter the picture. I figure, the more family support we both have, the better.

In our reading from a few weeks ago, the authors mentioned that people have so many issues with in-laws, from wedding invitations to family gatherings. However, the overall idea I got from these complaints was that people on both sides of the in-law relationship were being inconsiderate OR overly sensitive. Based on these complaints, I've come up with some basic guidelines for in-law relationships:
1. Be patient. It will take time for your in-laws to get used to the new family organization.
2. Do not take small things too seriously. In general, your new in-laws will not be intentionally doing something that you dislike in order to cause a disagreement. If it is something important to you, address the issue in a calm manner and avoid hostile language or bringing up any old arguments.
3. Pick your battles. Just because they salt the corn differently than you do, it isn't really hurting anyone. Different does not mean wrong. Only address the issue if it is something very important to you.

4. a. Parents in-law: respect the new family unit that has formed. Be courteous about family gatherings and any requests of the new couple. All of your relationships are changing, so once again, be patient.
b. Children in-law: understand that your new parents-in-law will have some adjustments to make in respecting your new family unit. Do not overreact if they take some time to accept your presence as a permanent family member.
5. Be kind and use common sense. Do not allow your emotions to cloud your judgement and make a small situation into a family rift. It's too easy to let some hurt feelings ruin such important relationships.