Sex communicates

In one of this week's readings, one particular part that stood out to me was the function of sex as a communication tool in a relationship. We are so used to actual, direct communication using words. Talking, tweeting, texting, they are all forms of explicit communication. I think we lose a lot of the nonverbal cues that help us bond with each other when we don't communicate in person.

In a relationship, communication is of the utmost importance. If you don't communicate well, your relationship will likely be unsuccessful (unless you're lucky and your partner just happens to be psychic). Sex is a form of communication, and I don't think we realize that. The reading helped remind me that sex, more than just the pleasure from it, can be used as a way to bond and communicate with your partner. We know that withholding sex is very communicative (shows dissatisfaction, anger, sadness, etc), so why wouldn't the act of having sex be just as communicative?

Because of the understanding of sex as communication, it is no wonder that sex is still an important aspect within later life relationships! In this sense, I am not talking about traditional sexual intercourse, but rather sexual intimacy in general. Since there are sometimes barriers to intercourse in later life relationships, the intimacy through caressing and other forms of sexual activity are just as important in the communication part of the relationship.

Social life in Later life

Our class and reading last week about the Red Hat Society really brought some of the misconceptions about later life that permeate our culture. It's important throughout life as infants, toddlers, young children, adolescents, young adults, etc. to be actively social. In fact, it is essential to our development to have contact with others through friendships and family. Why wouldn't this still be the case in later life?

I suppose that it is easy to think that, by the time you enter later life, everything is done/finished, and you have nothing else to accomplish or learn. We're never really done learning or growing, so it is even more important that adults in later life have social networks, especially because some of the automatic social networks like school or work are sometimes not available.

Another thing I really liked about the RHS was the willingness (and encouragement) to be a bit silly and have fun.  Just because we get older doesn't mean we stop liking stupid jokes or being boisterously loud with our friends. In society, we are encouraged to act in a mature way, which stifles the fun or silliness in our lives. Why can't we be responsible and mature, but still have a good time? I remember seeing my parents (50+) in a new way one winter when we visited where they grew up. They got together with some high school/college friends for an evening, and it seemed just like when I got together with my friends. Lots of laughing, joking, and just relaxing together. It's nice to know that life when you get older doesn't have to be all bills, work, and responsibility.

Sibling Relationships and Conflict

Our conversations in class this week about sibling relationships helped me to revisit my own relationship with my sister. She is about 3 years younger than me, making her 22. She just graduated and is now working at her first job.

While living together in our house, we tended to argue over things like who gets to use the bathroom first, how unfair mom or dad is treating one of use over the other, etc. She was my "annoying little sister" from the beginning. Even as a baby she would get up early in the morning, yelling for me and waking me up. However, if anyone dared to threaten her, I would be there in a heartbeat.

As we both started getting out of the house and becoming more independent, our relationship began growing stronger. I remember us having a conversation in the car when we went shopping together. At that moment, we realized how much better we got along when we weren't fighting for our parents' attention. We could really just appreciate each other as friends, and as sisters.

Based on the categories of sibling relationships we discussed, I would place my relationship with her at congenial. I am happy with where we are now and I hope that we don't revert back to the apathetic or hostile typologies from the past.

Ohio - Issue 6: Butler County Senior Services Levy

It's almost the end of September, and I am already seeing signs up saying "Help the Elderly, vote YES on Issue 6". The levy for Butler County Senior Services doesn't come up for a vote until the election on November 2nd, but people are already spreading the word about it.

According to the Oxford Press:

If passed, the renewal would continue to cost an owner of a $100,000 home $37 a year.

In 2009, more than 4,000 Butler County seniors were assisted by funds generated by the levy, according to John Stugmyer, executive director of the center.

“We must pass the levy,” he told the seniors.

The levy, he said, allows seniors to live with “independence and dignity.”

Middletown Mayor Larry Mulligan Jr. said the services provided by the levy are “critical to the quality of life” for Butler County seniors.

The levy allows seniors to receive community-based care, not institutional care. Suzanne Burke, director of Council on Aging of Southwestern Ohio, said surveys show that 96 percent of seniors want to remain at home as long as possible.

For full article please visit: http://www.oxfordpress.com/news/election/issue-6-deemed-critical-to-seniors-quality-of-life-921162.html

As this year's election gets closer, it is very important to familiarize yourself with local issues as well as political candidates. Because you are a student in Butler County, you can vote on this issue! How will you decide? How will this class influence your decision? I encourage you all to become informed, active voters, regardless of your political stance. 

Parents and Grandparents, at the same time

In US culture, the relationship model held up as the ideal follows the pattern of: dating, getting married, having kids, becoming "empty nesters", and then becoming grandparents. While there are many reasons why things might occur outside of this neat order, it is generally the standard that we are socialized to desire.

What about families like the Duggars on 19 Kids and Counting? They have followed this plan, but are still having kids of their own while also becoming grandparents. Their youngest child is younger than their first grandchild! There are numerous examples of parents deciding to have more children when they already have older ones, but the age gap is usually less extreme than in the Duggars' case, especially without the variable of divorce and remarriage.

My own grandparents had 2 more children when my mom was about 10 and 11 years old. Later, when discussing their experiences about my grandparents as parents, it seemed as though they had completely different parents. With 10 years of parenting experience already established, of course you would handle experiences differently with the later children. How would this alter the traditional nuclear family dynamic? How could it influence couple relationships as well as sibling and parent-child relationships?

Also, the parent's age can influence the way that they raise their children. There might be less energy for the late-thirties parent to share with their child than the parent who had their child in their twenties. However, there is also the possibility of increased financial stability for parents in the 30s as opposed to their 20-something counterparts.

Is there really a "best" or "right" way to be a parent?

Skyping with Grandma & Grandpa

I am so proud of my grandparents. The examples that they have set for adults in later life are only what I could hope for myself in the best of circumstances. They are both very active, despite retirement and the occasional wrinkle. For example:

They are avid motorcyclists (and yes, my grandma can drive one too!) They are part of a motorcycle group that does local, day-long rides to cool local restaurants and places of interest.
They are keeping up with technology. I talk to both of them via Skype about once every one or two weeks. In fact, it is my grandpa's birthday this week, so I plan to video call him that day. My grandpa manages some websites for others, as well as his own for his square-dance calling business. They have a joint Facebook account to keep up with the family goings-on, and they also have had IM accounts for years.
They have a variety of hobbies that keep them busy, and it seems like they are always running off to some business or social plans.

I just hope that I can stay as current and active as they are when I get to be their age!

Musical Ageism

This morning I was listening to the radio, and some lyrics popped out to me:

"We'll be young forever"..."I'm living a teenage dream"

Is it really so bad to get older? What are some of the connotations of young? It could be young physically, young mentally... Is it better to look young but have the experience of someone older?

Keep an ear out for other songs that reflect the constant desire to remain young.